I was under five when I began attending McKinley Elementary School, which had a special program for children with disabilities. I only recall that my father died in a trucking accident. We moved back to Fontana, California, to be with my mom’s family. Years later, my mom met Joe at my grandparents' store. What was so amusing was that I had met Joe before Mom introduced us to each other. Joe happened to be walking through the store with a bag of dog food. I was walking around in my walker, which looked like an overgrown baby walker, and happened to be behind him. I am unsure if I was thinking as if I knew who it was, but I started hitting his bottom like a child wants an adult to pay attention to them. Joe looked back and down to see what or who was hitting him. He saw it was me; I just sat down in my walker as I looked up and smiled. That evening, we were home, Tanice and I were on the floor with collaring books, and here comes Joe. I did recognize him, but I did not think anything of it. We eventually returned to Bakersfield, California.
That summer, after our family moved to Bakersfield, my mom decided to send me to a camp for children with disabilities. At first, I was unsure if I wanted to go, but when Mom and Joe dropped me off for the first time, I cried. Naturally, upon returning home, I became emotional, reflecting on how much I had appreciated the experience and my desire to return to camp. I thought this was where Lori and I first met for the first time. Came to find out that she had known me from when we lived in Bakersfield before we moved back to Fontana. Lori would try to teach me the alphabet on the way home from school, but according to Lori, I said, “I probably wanted to get home and play.” We would love to talk about all kinds of different topics.When we went to our cabin, Lori and I ensured that we always had our beds close together to talk after getting the sleeping bags, and we would for hours. It was during this time that Lori mentioned she would try to teach me the alphabet on the school bus, but I was not interested. When she mentioned it, I jokingly said I just wanted to get home, and we both laughed. Sometimes we played a game, Lori called "Build a Guy." In this game, we took turns describing the qualities we wanted in a guy we would like to date. Often, our thoughts consider someone to be strong, confident, and helpful. Of course, it did not hurt if he was handsome! At camp, we always felt like we had a small part of freedom. I realized that we had staff around, but we felt as if we could do things that we would not be able to do otherwise. Every year on the night before we leave for home, they would have a dance for all the campers to celebrate the end of camp. As we left the mess hall, I saw Lori dancing with a camp counselor named Army. She looked as though she had been walking on cloud nine. As we lay in our sleeping bags for the last night, we talked, and as she spoke, I could see and hear in her voice how elated she was. It meant the world to Lori.
We were familiar with all the camp counselors for many years, but one summer, a new person joined as a counselor. First, I did not see anything wrong except that he was coming on strongly to get to know me. It is difficult for me sometimes to warm up to someone if I feel uncomfortable around people whom I may not know well. Lori asked me why I felt that way. I explained why, and she said she understood. After a while, I got to know Cedric, and he was one of the nicest men I had met in a long time. He was a funny guy. Once he offered to buy his wife and me tickets to a Chip and Dale show. At the time, I was in my twenties and a bit naive, so I said that I did not feel comfortable with watching men dance around in their underwear close to and around me. If I had been older, I would have been there in a heartbeat. My heart broke when I heard that Cedric had gotten into a motorcycle accident and passed away.
Since Lori’s and my birthdays were close together while we were up at camp, the cook would bake cakes. Lori’s was the first week, mine was the second week. So, when my twenty-first birthday came around, Lori surprised me with a party at Rosemary’s ice cream parlor with minor help from my mom. I had no idea that she had planned all that; it was so fun.
Christmas was important for Lori and her mom. I received an annual invitation to attend their Christmas party. Their house inside looked like Santa’s house. I know it took Clare at least a month or two before Christmas to have it before Christmas. She would have cookies and candy made for all who came.
I am not sure what year it was, but I know Meghan, my niece, was about two or three, and we had the kitchen floor done. Lori’s Dad was in the business. We asked him to do the job. He is available to come in the evenings for several nights. Of course, when he was here, Meghan was curious as to why he was here and what he was doing. She kept going into the kitchen to see what was going on. Sherman, who was his name was, just went along with her as mom tried to keep Meghan out of the kitchen, but she would walk back into the kitchen to talk to him. Sherman would say Oh, she is keeping me company.
School was particularly important to Lori. After high school, she went to Bakersfield College and then to Cal State, where she earned her BA. I admired much about her hard work. We did not talk much because she had so much on her plate. She completed her graduation after a period of study. I am sure it was a huge relief to be finally out of school. She was free from the pressure of school. We did find time to see Dave Koz at a concert one evening at the college. Lori introduced me to jazz music, especially Kenny G and Dave Koz.
Lori called me to see if I would like to spend a couple of days with her since her parents had to go out of town. She informed me that her uncle Sunny would be there, so that if we needed something, he would be there to help. Sunny had made everything funny. Whenever we needed anything, he would be right there to ask what we needed. He would come into the room and ask us what we wanted. It was how he acted like he was our butler. It got to where I started to just call Sunny Uncle, Lori, and her uncle thought it was funny. Lori and I watched different soaps that were on at the same time, so Lori thought that we could watch different soaps. She asked me if I wanted to watch my soap on the first day, and I said that we could watch hers, which was Days of Our Lives. While it was on, I commented on how I thought this guy was so cute. The next day, Lori asked me what channel my soap was on, and I said that I would like to watch Days of Our Lives. Lori looked at me and laughed. Over the years, Lori and I talked on the phone since it was challenging to get together. Sometimes we would be on the phone for hours just talking about what was new and exciting in our lives. I noticed that when she called on a particular day, she sounded upset; it was Guy, whom we had known for years, who had died. I am not sure what happened. He had a disability that left his bones brittle and never grew. His mom wrapped Guy in bubble wrap when he started school to prevent any broken bones. Although he had this type of disability, he was always joking around with everyone. When I was going to Bakersfield College, I was waiting for a class to start, and he came around, beginning to tease me. You would have to understand how Guy operated, something he could get downright dirty. I have known for a while that he could sometimes go too far, but I learn a little later as to why he was trying to win me over. As we kept talking, Lori, after a while, mentioned that they had been dating for a long time. When my jaw dropped. All I could think of was, why didn’t you tell me? As Lori was explaining that she was not supportive of David and me the first time, so when we started dating again, Lori said that she wanted to be supportive if I was happy. My reply to her was that I liked Guy, but I just thought he was a pervert. We laughed, and she said, "He was my pervert." Then we both burst into laughter. Once we had settled down, she had told me how they started dating and how long it had been. I expressed my happiness for her, although it was a bittersweet moment. I remarked that it seemed as though they were married, to which she responded that it indeed felt that way. I reminded her of the boyfriends that I had in the past and how she did not care for them. I was glad she had found someone. I just found it funny because everybody, including Guy, used to call Lori Mother Terrica because of her nature of being a goodie two-shoe. Of course, it was all genuine fun. I remember a weekend I went to Lori after her father passed away. I was sitting on Lori’s bed waiting for her to come back from the other room. Clare, her mom, came to the room to talk to me. I noticed that when she was speaking to me with tears in her eyes, telling me how lucky Lori was to have a friend like you, but I was the lucky one, I took that for granted. It was not too much after that, six months to a year, she had a heart attack in her sleep. I was worried about how Lori would react, but as time went by, I was shocked and amazed at how well she adapted to her situation. I am sure it was not always easy; she took it everything in trade. Lori was able to take care of things with her neighbors and family, and friends by her side. Usually, I check my email once a day or so, but my aunt and Uncle were down from Nevada to spend some time with us. Since I did not check my email that week, I did not know what happened until it was too late. Meghan came into my room, saying that someone wanted to talk to me about Lori. I wondered what was going on. I went to turn it on, and without even reading the date. I saw an email from Lori talking about how she hopes that they put chocolate in her feeding tube so that she would not go through withdrawals. It sounded like she was upbeat and not concerned about going to the hospital to take care of her hernia. One morning, I was waiting for my staff, Candie, when she sat down and asked me if I knew about Lori. I said, “No” as I looked up at her with curiosity. She told me that Lori had passed away. I replied by saying no repeatedly. I had to call her number, but I only reached Lori’s answering machine. Once I could not hear her voice, I knew she was gone. I could not believe it; I was in shock. It took a while for me to calm down. Once I did, I wondered why. Candie was not sure, but in the next few days, I received a phone call from a mutual friend who told me what had happened. Time has a way of sliding by; no one knows how long they have. That is why people need to let them know how much they mean to them before it is too late. Sometimes, when things happen unexpectedly, it is so difficult to comprehend why they happened the way they did. I can imagine that Lori’s up in heaven with her family and guy, doing whatever makes her happy. Time has a way of sliding by; no one knows how long they have. That is why people need to let them know how much they mean to them before it is too late. Sometimes, when things happen unexpectedly, it is so difficult to comprehend why they happened the way they did. I can imagine that Lori’s up in heaven with her family and guy, surrounded by teddy bears with yellow flowers since she loved yellow, doing whatever makes her happy.
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